Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Huddleston's Law of Diminishing Dimensions

What is Huddleston's Law of Diminishing Dimensions? It states that the width of a newly purchased appliance is converse to the dimensions of the existing appliance. Further, Huddleston's Law triggers the universe to warp affecting the adjacent laundry tub.

Who is Huddleston and why should you care? I don't know, I just made it up as I went along.

Translation: The Old Maytag finally died in it's tracks. The new appliances are one inch wider. The wonderful deliverymen were the ones to break the news to me. Our laundry room is plenty large EXCEPT..... remember, Huddleston's Law triggers troubles with the adjacent laundry tub.

The Other Mother is enamoured with laundry tubs and had a local handyman install one in a base cabinet that she bought in a local home improvement store. The problem is that the handyman installed it with the a countertop that is less than an eighth of an inch to spare next to the old Maytag. The new washer would not fit. No way. No how.

What should be very simple, sliding the new washer in place, has become yet another project on the list to be completed before the end of the Mayan calendar in 2012. The Farmer and I did some awesome demolition work and denounced the handyman strongly.

"What a terrible job."

"What did he use as a base, cardboard?"

No, in fact it was cheap particleboard that was disintegrating because he did a equally terrible grout job and moisture had leaked through. The Farmer and I got all new materials and launched into our famous "measure 14 times, make paper templates, eat pie to raise blood sugar, and finally cut ONCE" routine.

Things are progressing but we are very messy workers. Here's the evidence:

We realize that we could never, ever make a living doing this and certainly no one would ever agree to pay us by the hour. What we thought would take an afternoon has turned into a larger endeavor. Tile pattern and edge treatments are considered, time is scheduled for our next push.

Soon, very soon, the laundry room will be back in order.

NOTE: I love my homemade laundry soap but I'm CRAZY for Heidi's fabric softener recipe. I'll admit that I was very skeptical about using something that contains vinegar. Hey, I'm accustomed to smelling April Fresh and my fear was that I'd be walking around smelling like a tossed salad, but this stuff is terrific. It leaves everything simply smelling clean.

Here's her recipe in case you missed it the first time around:


2 cups hair conditioner
2 cups white vinegar
6 cups water

Mix all together, shake well. Shake before each use.

I purchased Suave conditioner for $1. The bottle contains 2 cups. Perfect. There are different scents, I chose a fruit scent. A gallon of white vinegar was $1.79. The final result does not smell overwhelmingly vinegary. Online searches assure me that the vinegar also rinses residue from the washing machine.

UPDATE: My sewing machine made a quick stop in Nasville, after leaving Chattanooga. I'm OK with that because Nashville is a fun city, lots to do. It arrived in Nashville at 9:56 and left at 12:01 a.m. I'm hoping it took those two hours to visit Tootsie's Orchid Lounge for a quick drink before heading off to Chicago. At least I hope Chicago is the next stop. Where else could it go? Indianapolis is not really on the way, but you never know.


Anonymous said...

Your sewing machine sounds so worldly... should have good tales to tell you when it arrives.

The Blue Ridge Gal

Vee said...

While I am terribly annoyed on your behalf by the wider machine and the unprofessional job of said handyman, I'm so glad that it all became blog fodder. (Good luck with the work and no one could afford me by the hour either...putt, putt, putt.) I hope that your new sewing machine doesn't have too much fun out there!

chocolatechic said...

This is what I'm skeert of when my machine dies.

StitchinByTheLake said...

I am very aware of Huddleston's Law as I have been caught up in it's trap on more than one occasion. A couple of year's ago my refrigerator died. After a proper buriel accompanied by prayers and a few probably inappropriate but emphatic cuss words I went shopping for a new one. I had visions of an enormous space gain with lots of bells and whistles. Bells and whistles take additional width. Additional width breaks Huddleston's Law. There was exactly one, count them - one, refrigerator at Lowe's (who has millions of refrigerators) that would fit. And it's exactly like the one I already had. Go figure. blessings, marlene

Anonymous said...

We are very familiar with Huddleston's law (refrigerator). My advice is never hire a relative to help with home repairs. I paid a relative do some home improvements around here, thinking he knew what he was doing. Later on professionals had to be hired to correct his errors. Didn't save money, relative never apologized.

Unknown said...

Well, I don't know what tickles me more - the pie that you and Farmer HAD to eat to raise your blood sugar, OR H. Law OR the fact that your sewing machine could be enjoying a Mai Tai in Nashville!!! The truth - I took delight in tracking my college daughter's packages all year long NM to NC - You are NOT alone LOL! Have a Great Day!

Kitty said...

Hmmm..was that your sewing machine I saw go by? I live between Nashville and Chattanooga. Hope it arrives soon and brings some of our warm weather to you!

Mary said...

I vote for margaritas for your sewing machine. And being such an ardent crafter, I vote that we go have a drink with that new machine. Have fun with the bells and whistles. Coffee this morning was fun. Sorry your camera batteries were dead .. it is such a picturesque place for blog fodder. LOL

Trish said...

I love it...ha....the washing machine and the Huddleston's Law are hilarious! I am also very grateful for your fabric softener recipe.....I am going to have to try that as I stopped using it. It was too expensive and not sure that it was rinsing out of the you find it totally rinses out? And how much do you use?

Jody Blue said...

"little projects" are just patience-"I love my husband-I love my husband-I love my husband" builders in disguise! Tried the softner--wher edo I find the laundry soap recipe??

Ye Merrie Quilter said...

Hello! Thanks for the cookies...I needed it today! Dealt with H's law with a fridge, too. Bought a 100 year old house with a fridge about the same age and no company makes a fridge that would fit under the cupboards. I'll have to try the fabric softener recipe. Maybe something vanilla flavored.

Suzanne said...

Di - Yes, this machine is traveling more than I am and I'm not happy about that. Remember, I have wanderlust.

Vee - Everything is blog fodder. Well, almost everything. We work very slowly. When my brother-in-law comes to do electrical work he tells the Farmer that it will cost more if he insists on helping him.

Chocolatechic - Take a tape measure with you. It never occurred to me to measure because I thought they were all a standard size. It seems the standard has changed since we bought the old Maytag 25 years ago.

Marlene - Yes, Huddleston's Law also applies to fridges. I'm sorry that you had no choice in the matter. That would make me crazy.

Anon- That has happened to us also. Luckily, my brother-in-law is a wonderful electrician.

Kelly - I'm so happy that I'm not alone in this behavior.

Kitty - Yes... I hope you waved as it passed by. It's so cold here I wish I was heading south while my machine is heading north.

Mary - Margaritas to celebrate. Good idea. I have several bottles of the good stuff (100 Anos Reposado Tequila) that the Farmer brought back the last time he visited the farms in Mexico.

Trish - I think it rinses out just fine. It leaves the clothes smelling fresh without any perfumy smell. I use 1/2 cup per load.

Jody Blue - The laundry soap recipe and video is here:

Quilter - Vanilla would be good. I stumbled on this citrus conditioner and it's a very nice, mild smell. Maybe vanilla next time.

Thanks everyone for taking time out of your busy days to visit and leave comments. I appreciate your friendship.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing the homemade fabric softener recipe. I'm a suburban farmer's wife, on a couple of acres only 2 miles from everything but self-sufficiency is our way of living. Be well and enjoy!

Always in Blue Denim said...

LOVE this fabric softener...I think. See, I got the ingredients together, 2 C. conditioner and 2 C. white vinegar, added them together, shook the jar like crazy, and then filled my softener ball to the line. Wait...this seems kind of thick...oh, well. Mid cycle I thought "That doesn't seem right". Look at the recipe again...well, duh me. Hey, it worked anyway, my towels smell great and are very soft (but, surprisingly, not slimy feeling) for having to be dried on the clothesline! I expect it will work as well after I've corrected my silly mistake!