Mom's Busted

The majority of students have left the college town where my daughter resides. She's in a group of master's candidates who meet each morning at the library in preparation to complete the final requirements for the degree.

She left early on Thursday morning which gave me the run of the apartment. That was fine with me because I like to clean by myself and she was sick and barely able to make it to her study group. I donned my battle gear, preparing to organize and do some basic cleaning.

I spotted my daughter's IPOD nestled in a hot pink contraption that's meant to be worn on the arm. Can you tell I haven't clocked much time in a fitness club? That fact is underscored by the fact that I can barely fit the device over my chubby upper arms. It's just a stinking hot pink musical blood pressure cuff at this point.



I was sure my work would go faster if I listened to some tunes. I turn the IPOD on and click Music > Artists > ..... at this point it occurred to me that I might not even recognize any of the artists on her playlist. One of the first groups I spotted was Crystal Method. I love music, all kinds of music (except rap) and I've learned over the years to never judge a book by it's cover or a band by it's name.

Further down her list I find:

Robert Palmer - Addicted to Love (Sigh. R.I.P. Robert)
Steve Winwood - Higher Power (Oh yeah)
Rick Springfield - Jesse's Girl (Woo Hoo)

No Metallica however. I like Metallica, especially their rendition of "Whiskey in the Jar". (This fact will play out in another story later this week)

And look.....Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. That's my girl!

Since I believe myself to be someone who is willing to broaden their horizons or at least inform myself of cultural influences I choose Crystal Method. Not to worry, there are no nasty lyrics, in fact there are no lyrics at all. Drug references aside, it's electronic dance music which I'm pretty sure is popular with spinning classes. (Think health club, not wool).

I'm impressed. It has a beat and you can scrub toilets to it!

My work progressed nicely. I created this little vignette without putting any holes in the wall.



This mess gets organized and tucked into closets.



I keep moving down her playlist and more work gets accomplished. And then, disaster strikes.

Robert Palmer pulses through the ear buds. The beat starts, Robert sings, "The lights are on, but you're not home...." (Turn off the playlist if you don't want to rock out!)

Suddenly I can't control myself. I drop the broom and start dancing, not the back and forth toe tap of the pencil thin and over made-up models from the music video, but real dancing. Hips are shaking, hands are up in the air. HA! I'm having fun and feeling really happy that my daughter doesn't have any kind of nanny-cam.

Just as I'm feeling all smug, I get that creepy feeling that someone is watching. YIKES!! There's someone in the second story window of the house next door. And yes, he's seen the whole sordid affair! I pull back away from his view so fast that if I'd moved another inch I would have busted a hole in the wall.

When my daughter returns I question her.

"Who lives next door?" I ask.

"Oh, a really nice couple. He's an engineer at the company I'm hoping where I'm hoping to get hired."

Oh, swell.

"Anyone else?" I query, knowing it was a younger man at the window.

"Oh, their son who is in college."

Now panic strikes in full force. I'm not a big one for projecting what might happen but in this case my imagination runs wild. What if they cross paths on their way to their cars in the morning? My mind conjures up the possible conversation.

"Hi, my name is Mark."

"Hi Mark, how are you?"

"Good. Say, do you have a roommate or something?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"I thought I saw an older woman in your apartment last week."

"Oh, that was my mom. She was here to help me clean the apartment."

"Your MOM?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Holy cow, your mom was BUSTIN' SOME MOVES!!"

Yeah....bustin' and busted, all in the same breath!

NOTE: Crystal Method group members have tried to distance themselves from the drug reference but come on! One member discussed how difficult it was to tell his parents he was in a band named The Crystal Method. Good, I'm glad to hear that he cared about what his family might think. Another member talks of breaking the news of the band's name to his mom while they were on a nature walk. He was surprised that his mom didn't freak out. That was probably due to the fact that she KNEW her son.