Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I Love Your Problems

My sister and I talk quite often. Sometimes we talk away her commute into work. We have that shared view of life that siblings often possess. Many times our conversations are confirmation chats. We confer to make sure that we have our heads on straight and these days, with two super seniors (over 80) in our lives, that is not often the case.

I run my problems past her for her valued opinion and she does the same with me.

One day we were discussing some current drama in her life when she stopped and began apologizing.

"I'm so sorry. I know you've got a lot on your plate and I don't mean to bother you with my problems," she said.

"Oh heck no," I answered. "Are you kidding? I love your problems!"

We both busted out laughing because she knew exactly what I meant.

"I LOVE your problems," I assured her.

"Because they're not MY problems."

More laughter.

My sister, having an Andrew Wyeth moment.

It's true. Listening to another's problems can give us some relief from our own and beyond that, the advice we give to someone else is often just the advice we need ourselves.

Having said that, I can't imagine getting paid to hear someone else's problems all day long. Although I find psychology fascinating and spent five years sitting in a therapist's office, my brain would explode listening to that stuff. And besides, I'd never be able to remain neutral and repeat ".....and how did you feel about that?", one million gajillion times.

So, how do you feel about that?


Becky K. said...

Great Post!
There is nothing to put our lives in perspective like that of someone else.
The photo of your sister is great too.

Have a wonderful day.

Becky K.

Jenni said...

That is one of the things I love about blogging and reading blogs. Reading about someone else's problems and offering my advice, I often work out solutions to my own problems in the process. Plus, it's reassuring to know that I am not the only one with problems! I've thought quite a few times that I'd like to go into psychology, I like listening to people's problems and offering advice. I could *not* just sit there and say, "and how do you feel about that?" though. I think I'd be too tempted to do the Bob Newhart "Stop it!" routine. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1g3ENYxg9k)

chocolatechic said...

I love my sister's problems too.

Lisa D. said...

I always wanted a sister, for exactly those reasons. I don't have one, but I have a cousin-in-law that is just like a sister. We all need someone that we can talk to about anything and not feel like we are "burdening them with our problems".

Kat said...

I've also learned that helping out a friend or relative who is having a bad time makes it easier to deal with that hard time when it comes visiting you! As in, "Oh heck, this is the same problem that so-and-so had...what advice did I give her? Oh yeah--and it worked! Guess I better follow my own advice!"

Recently, my teen daughter parroted back some advice I'd given to her over the years. I just about died!

Anonymous said...

right back at cha. Although I did love when you used to blog about your depression. Usually I can't stand that stuff but your STUFF was interesting. KD is my bounce off of friend.

Vee said...

Do you mind if I lie down? ;>

Yes, I love my sister's problems, too. Does your sister love your problems? I take it that yours are topping hers these days.

Thank you for a fun post. Who knew that problems could be ..., nope, I'm resisting the urge to say it.

May your sister's troubles and your own prove to be mere ripples in a vast sea.

Very nice photo of the photographer .

lifeinredshoes said...

I think that's one aspect of blogging that I really like, hearing/reading about someone else's problems. You can have empathy/apathy, really feel for this person, but then move on.

I have been watching Obsessed and Addiction lately on TV, and they are absolutely mesmerizing. Last night a therapist had been working with the same man weekly, for a whole year about his hoarding. This guy kept garbage, and every single solitary time he touched something she said the same thing, " how do you feel about this item?"
I would have lost my mind!
Just throw the sh-- out for hells sake!
Not enough money in the world. I hope my therapist didn't feel that way about me:(

Anonymous said...

I would make a horrible therapist because I'd just sit there and tell them to 'get over it!!!"

Sis and I always discuss and laugh at our problems. Then we go fix the problem.


myletterstoemily said...

"i love your problems." that's great.
you are blessed to have such a sweet
relationship with your sister.

she's lucky to have you!