Tuesday, April 15, 2008

29th Annual Tax Day Event!


Yep, it's an annual event here at the big farmhouse. And what an event it is.

Little Cisco is looking a bit worried. But that's just because this is his first year living at the big farmhouse during tax season. I gave him a dog biscuit and assured him it would be OK. Tommorrow things will return to normal.


You can't see me because I'm just off camera working hard to contain the disaster. It was necessary for me to break out the Big Nikon and wide angle lens just to capture the scope of the event.


We start the day with a festive Ticker Tape Parade. In place of the traditional ticker tape we use a years worth of unopened junk mail and otherwise obsolete paperwork.


Then the main event begins as the oak credenza in the office explodes, spilling it's guts as far away as the kitchen. This blast contains old tax returns, vet bills, credit card statements and various other ephemera.


The major debris from the blast rains down on the family room where all attempts at "decor" have been nullified. The oriental inspired lantern threatens to start a blaze. I briefly thought about entering the pictures in HGTV's Rate My Space website as a joke but I've been told some of the "raters" take their job seriously and I'm a fragile state right now (as you can imagine).


Pancho has been through this before and he provides emotional support to the Farmer. The Farmer has mellowed over these 29 years, finally trusting that the missing document will be found in the nick of time.


At the Eleventh Hour.....just as we thought all was lost.....and in the tradition of the day......the missing document is found. All is well. God is in his heaven and the check is in the mail.

The entire day is a cathartic process and we all feel better after dragging bags of shredded paper down to the curbside. The recycling guy has other thoughts on the subject.

There are a couple of things to take note of:

- All images of the documents have been "blurrified" in Photoshop, so don't even think about stealing my identity. I can assure you that on days like this you don't want to be me.

- Don't worry about the clean up. I've been in training since January and 28 years of past experience have made me an expert. Got a messy parade? Call me.

- Vee talks about keeping it real. I have no choice. This is my life. And anyway the real story is always more interesting, just ask Lucy Ricardo.

Don't forget to snag your free Tax Day donut at Dunkin Donuts. Just order a regular coffee and the donut is free.


Abbie said...

Ha!! lol!! I love the photos.. They remind me of the book series "A Day in the Life of.." (America, Russia, etc..) What a nice way to spend the day.. I hope my husband mellows over time because God Scorn the day we are ever NOT be able to find a critical document! Thank you for sharing.. perhaps I'll share some of my pretty reality today too..

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Hahahaha...sorry! Uhm, I actually started feeling some anxiety seeing that. "Check is in the mail" yuck! I mean good-that-it-is- a-done deal...too bad you had to pay.

I'm seriously considering the donut...very.

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Ohhhh, this is rich. You linked to me about "keeping it real" and it's about as unreal a day as could possibly be at A Haven today! ROFL!!

Mary said...

You are too funny! We have an accountant do our taxes, but this year, I did my 20-year-old son's taxes...I hate paperwork! Had to FedEx them to him in Philly so that he could sign and send them --- all for a $200. refund. By the end of the night, I probably would have paid him the $200. myself!

Popsicles & Lollipops said...

Too funny!! We actually have quarterly "Can't find something that we must have now" events at our house. Just the way we like it. Much more disruptive and chaotic. We feel the need to keep on our toes. :-)

BittersweetPunkin said...

HA HA HA! Sorry bit I HAD to laugh! That is perfect.....I forgot what day was today until I ran to the PO to mail a box....LOL.

jill said...

Hey Suzanne!! Love your musings! What a beautiful perspective you've honed with your life experience! I loved the photo of you and daddy at the very awesome restaurant. It was fun seeing you at 27!! Your father has given you priceless memories!
Hugz! Your affresco supplier!

Suzanne said...

Yes Abbie - we need a dose of reality. Bring it on!

Vee - I certainly hope you got that donut!

Mary - what we won't do for the kids, it's amazing.

Popcicles - What a wise idea to do it quarterly. As you can see the yearly thing is ridiculous.

Punkin- Thanks for laughing, I'd feel awfully ridiculous reporting these tales if no one found humor in it.

Jill - Look everbody, Jill is here. She's my Tile and Carpet Diva. She's going to help me complete the basement rehab.