Monday, April 20, 2009

More Wanderlust



No, that's not the Farmer and that's not me. I took this photo a couple years ago at a beautiful park that is the location of lots of wedding day photo shoots. I don't have a clue who these people are!

I needed something to illustrate my ponderings about my lingering wanderlust. A psychologist would have a field day with all y mentions of boots, vintage travel trailers and the Laura Ingalls Wilder trail. I just feel the need to get outta Dodge.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's feeling the pinch of being in the sandwich generation.

I love the Farmer. We have such fun together and after 30 years we've got most of the kinks worked out. If it's just him and I there's rarely a problem. Unfortunately, there are complicated career issues, health issues and now we're starting to be squished by our responsibilities of aging, no....aged parents.

I'm squished I tell you.

I do not believe that everything and every detail of someone's life is blog fodder. I'm a little sad that some in my generation were the ones to start the idea that anything goes. There are days when it seems like a free-for-all out there. Being open and honest is important, no one knows this better than me. But what you'd say in a therapists office is not necessarily proper at a cocktail party or a blog.

There are times when I feel like a dinosaur because I believe in manners, propriety, modesty (whoa....that's in short supply), humility and a regard for others. I've been known to raise my eyebrow at behavior that would have been unheard of in my day. What happened to "proper"? I want some proper back.

Where is all this rambling leading me? Back to being squished. Some of you have asked about the Other Mother because there are some funny tales to be told. But now the tales would only be sad and scary. Sometimes as children our duty is to preserve our aging parents dignity. And sometimes we're required to do that without anyone's help. That is hard as well.

So for now, until I can ride off into the sunset with the Farmer, hauling a vintage travel trailer, I'll pretend to be a Boy Scout and repeat my pledge (with a few changes):

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my family and to obey the Laws of Propriety and Humility;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

Amen.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Having just dealt with the death of my Father and the "what to do with Mom now" I fully understand. We, as a family are scattered all over this great country and Mom want to stay where she is. She can't, simply put. But preserving her dignity in all of this is hard. What was comical is now sad. I too offer my prayers for strength and good judgment to do what is the right thing.

arlene said...

I love your pledge. It is a hard road to travel, taking care of your parents AND yourself. My parents and other-parents are all gone now and I miss them dreadfully. Ironic, but the one I miss the most is my mom-in-law. After 35 years, we understood each other pretty well and she was my best supporter/cheerleader. Awesome lady.

I hope that your siblings, if any, are supportive of you and each other. That will help a lot. Best wishes and try to keep your sense of humor.

arlene

georgie said...

Gosh you sorta just said what I feel exactly! If my mother stopped being stubborn, then I'd worry. Just worry she'll push herself too much and get injured. She says I worry too much. It isn't easy being an adult only child.

Nan said...

I'm with you...we're not old fashioned...we're what normal used to be. Thanks for reading my blog...you give me inspiration to step it up! Hang in there....your reward is coming!

1inCollege1inDiapers said...

Thank you for sharing. I haven't got to the point of having to care for my mother (except in my mind with worrying), but I know that day will be here before I know it and I hope I can take your pledge too. I know if you decide to take a road trip there will be many offers to go with you. I'm ready!!

Anonymous said...

I am new to your blog. I have read about your soap. Do you have a septic system? And you feel it is safer to use? This is a big concern for me.
I have a front loading machine. Would this be too much suds for this machine? Linda

Steph said...

Here's a link to those Grabber things I blogged about!

http://www.spacesavers.com/tripgrip.html

lifeinredshoes said...

I like your pledge, but it's hard to live by. I was sandwiched at the young age of 17, it lasted until I was nearly 50. I did endure, however I lacked humility and grace. Looking back, I would do it very differently, bless you.

Vee said...

That is one incredible pledge. I had the opportunity to try it out today. I prolly blew it, but I did try. Thank you for the life lesson!

Tom and Cindy said...

Amazing post. How kind of you to share your inner thoughts with us. May the Comforter give you the strenght and humility to take on each task that will come your way. Gods many blessings sent to you and your family.
Cindy

Anonymous said...

Oh no, you're not old fashioned..i believe exactly what you believe in..and it is just plain good living.
My parents are both gone now, but i understand what you are saying.
Take one day at a time..you will get thru it.
luv Ann.xx

Cottage Rose said...

Hey Suzanne; I can relate to your story as most of us can. When I lost my mom between my sister and I we had to take care of our daddy.. which we did, then the hardest thing was to realize that he needed care around the clock. Care that we could not give him.. I lost him three years ago.. it is a tough road to go. I love the prayer, and you have my prayers as well dear friend...

Hugs;
Alaura

Molly said...

I fell in love with those custom travel trailers too...we must have seen the same article. And i know what you mean about the squished thing. Onward and upward.

Piecefulafternoon said...

Just lovely - as an aging parent myself I surely appreciate our family and I know they will "tend to us" when the time comes. Fortunately we are just aging, not aged yet.

Good thoughts to you during this time - you are the epitome of grace in this situation.

Heidi said...

AMEN! we will keep your family in our prayers Sue. *hugs and smoochs* You have to take a certain amount of care of yourself before you can be help to others - especially those that are close. thinking of you...

Sand Flat Farm said...

We're dealing with that now ourselves as we just lost my Father in Law. I feel for you, I'm there, as are alot of us that are our ages. We shall place the future of our aging parents in the Lord's hands and ask for His wisdom to show us what to do. I'm for dignity, too, and propriety and honor for all. God bless you and yours!

KatKit13 said...

((((Suzanne & the Farmer))))