Friday, May 2, 2008

Mom's a MacGuyver

Expectant mothers should forget about reading Dr. Spock's Baby & Child Care and buy a video library of all 139 episodes of MacGuyver. The skills you'll learn by watching that TV show will be invaluable to you for many, many years to come.

It is more important to know how to repair a set of Pee Wee League shoulder pads using only a shoelace and two sticks of Juicy Fruit gum than it is to understand the psychology of potty training. When I fretted to my pediatrician over those issues she just looked at me and said, "I promise you, he'll be potty trained by the time he walks down the aisle!"

I'd also encourage your children to pay attention in math class when they're asked to do those complicated word problems. You remember....."Two trains are approaching each other at 50 miles per hour, at what distance....". They're going to need this type of math logic thought pattern to be able to solve all sorts of dilemmas.

You're in your daughter's new apartment. After thoroughly scrubbing cabinets it's time to measure the windows for curtains that you've agreed to sew. Unfortunately, the tape measure is at home and you're too tired to drive over to retrieve it. What do you do?

Rummage through your handbag, otherwise known as the filing cabinet. In true MacGuyver fashion you find a 3 x 5 inch card and a brochure from your doctor's office.


One side of the card has a determined measurement of 5 inches. Place the card at the left hand edge of the longest side of the brochure.


Make a mark at 5 inches, reposition the card, make a second mark. Reposition the card once more and notice that the card overhangs about an inch. This allows you to identify the long edge of the brochure as 14 inches.


Place the brochure at the left side of the window sill. Place your finger at the right edge, move the brochure adding 14 inches as you progress across the width.


We've MacGuyver'd the window sill to determine a width of 36 inches!

I also MacGuyver'd the shelves in the linen closet. We were running out of time and I was in no mood to rip paper off the shelves so I flipped the shelves over and placed the new grip-type shelf covering on the clean underside.

Mom MacGuyver Handbag Preparedness Kit

Flamingo shaped bottle opener
Mountain climbing carbiner hook
Assorted pens (ballpoint, permanent marker, fountain pen)
Needle and thread
Ponytail holder and 14 bobbypins
Duct tape
Swiss Army knife (deluxe model)
band aids
18 inches of string or crochet cotton
Ketchup packets (10 will make a decent cup of tomato soup in a pinch)
mirror (for checking lipstick and signaling for help)
Lipstick (for looking pretty and writing messages on mirrors)

Anything to add?

I'm sure you've had to MacGuyver in your role as mom. What's your own personal best?

NOTE: Many thank to all who offered congratulations on my daughter's impending graduation. She's worked very hard. Her B.A. is in Commercial Interior Design, M.A. in Project Managment.


Kari & Kijsa said...

Tee hee- Love that we will be ever so prepared!! We have actually used items for measurement-like a business card- written how many widths, and then measured when w got back home! You are the best!!

kari & kijsa

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

I shall never top that one! You're brilliant! But then, I've always known that. :D

Thank you for your profound thoughts in comments at my place.

Janet said...

hello farmer's wife, I like your blog. I especially enjoyed the bra story.

A few days ago I used a stapler gun to attach the fabric back to the ceiling of my son's car. This fabric (does it have a real name?) has been drooping for months and my earlier duct tape fix did not last. I tried glue and quickly saw that gravity is not my friend when gluing something overheard; I had a sticky spot on my neck for several days after this attempt. But the stapler gun fix seems to have worked well. Now if he was just a better driver, we'd be all set.

Keep up the good work,

GemStateMom said...

good thinking, girl! Way to use what you had for an accurate guestimate.

My best MacGuyver moment isn't that stupendous, but my kids were impressed...and isn't that what counts? :) When away from home, the little post thingy that fits into the hole on a sandal strap broke for my youngest child at the time. Of course she couldn't run about with only one sandal, and it wouldn't stay tight enough on her foot since there was nothing to keep the strap from sliding. I grabbed a little stick, wedged it between the strap and what remained of the buckle to make it snug, broke off the ends, and off she ran to play. The sandal stayed put and the crisis was averted! And that 'fix' worked for what remained of the summer! LOL It wasn't true MacGuyver-style, but its the best I can muster.

lifeinredshoes said...

Did you erase my comment or did I? By the way, YOU are my new hero! Remember, neccesity is the mother of invention.

Suzanne said...

K & K - Look, you don't even have to tell me you're resourceful....I KNOW IT!!! (I usually spread my hand out as far as it will go and measure like a hand, two hands...etc. wide.)

Vee - You can top it. I believe in you. And you're welcome for the comment.

Janet - You get 10 points!! A staple gun should be in my MacGuyver Mom kit. I'm a big fan of Gorilla Glue, but it's messy. BTW - the fabric on the roof of the car is called a headliner. I'm a car nut so I know that one!

Red Shoes - STOP IT!! You silly goose, you must have not hit send or something. Certainly you know I'm so starved for comments I wouldn't even delete comments from Nigerian lottery winners wanting me to cash their checks!!

Love you all. Thanks for stopping by.

Suzanne said...

Paula - Gee, how did you slip in there. That's a great fix for the sandal. I think that's very MacGuyver. I just think we're forced to come up with solutions and there are just people who think creatively in that regard.

I was thinking you might comment on "MacGuyver'd" that correct? I didn't know. Having you as my Grammar Nazi makes me more aware when I'm writing and that's a good thing!

Terri said...

Too funny! But very clever. Richard Dean Anderson has nothing on you!

Enjoyed visiting your blog today!
God bless~

GemStateMom said...

heh heh...because I love to write and even to coin my own phrases, I thing MacGuyver'd or MacGuyvered is an excellent verb! What other verb could you use for such an action??

Nope, MacGuyver'd slip right past me. LOL

GemStateMom said...

oh my gracious! Did you see that? One of my leapers jumped in there...and there's no way to go back and fix it! thing indeed. Hrummphh.
I knew this was gonna happen.
GN meekly signing off.

Trish said...

First time stopping my for a visit. Loved your blog and of course, your sense of humour. Sounds like we hare a similar type of ms. fix-its and handy women!!! Will certainly stop by again.

martina said...

Now that is something to remember! A friend was at a garage sale and saw a t.v. she was interested in. No tape measure. What did she do? She took masking tape and put it diagonally left and right and across and up and down (three strips) of the t.v.. Then she took the tape off and put it on her skirt in the same pattern. Thankfully she went directly home and measured the tape.

Peggy-Just A Plain Gal said...

Very innovative thinking! I've been known to use my arm to measure things that are shorter than my arm. I line my arm against whatever I'm measuring, and mark where it ends with a pen. When I get home, I just measure my arm up to the mark. Works for me! LOL!