Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Blue Paint and Moonlight

Here's what I've discovered in the last week:

- The Farmers is reading my blog
- My neighbors are reading my blog
- The Farmer's son sat down at the computer when I walked away for a moment. I was reading Kelli's blog, "Sugar Creek Farm". He says, "Hey mom.....here's some REAL FARMERS."

It seems the party is over. I have to behave myself. My words are now subject to intense scrutiny by the Farmer. He wants to know about "intent" and "meaning". Heck, I don't want to worry about my stinking intent.

I sure don't want to burst the bubble when it comes to my neighbors. They think I'm normal. Or maybe the don't. I guess I'll just have to be myself. I don't think anything would suprise them at this point, after all I attended a wine tasting in the Queen's jewels.

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I take pictures of their houses at night.

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I do treat them to dinner once in awhile.

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My wonderful neighbor Ed let it be known that he wasn't too happy at not being listed on the Peep list as one of my bartenders. He right! I'm sorry Ed. You're name has been added because you ARE my favorite bartender.

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My neighbors had a big laugh when I had to shovel a foot of snow out of my car last spring.

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They problem with people in your "real life" reading your blog is that you're no longer able to create your own reality. It's part and parcel of the internet. People can know us by our words and not by our appearance, how fat or thin, or rich or poor we are. 'm thinking specifically of someone who was a regular on a forum I frequented for over 8 years. His words revealed a wonderful person with a great imagination and playful spirit. As online friends we sometimes created alter-egos and engaged in interesting storylines. Dicken once wrote a story in which he painted himself in blue paint and danced around a roaring campfire under the light of the moon. We joined in and added to his story, rattling chicken bones and chanting at the moon.

For most of us it was an interesting diversion, but for Dicken it seemed to be something more. There was always something nagging at me about this free spirit we knew as Dicken. There was something hidden, not evil or odd, just something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

The rest of the story eventually revealed itself, as stories always do. After many years of his friendship we awoke one morning to find an entry on the forum - Dicken had passed away. His wife told us what we never could have known, Dicken was very, very ill during all those years he was our friend. He was bedridden, housebound and physically unable to engage in cavorting of any kind. Only through his words and his imagination was he released to be a free spirit. Unknowingly we enabled his playful dreams to take him out of his broken body and into a different reality. When he played with us he could be young and vibrant.

I miss Dicken a lot. He taught me many things. The biggest lesson he taught me was that a broken body does not translate into a broken spirit.

If I talk about painting myself blue and dancing under the moonlight, humor me. Perhaps you could grab some chicken bones and chant at the moon.

21 comments:

American in Norway said...

beautiful post...just stopping by to show some love....
I am not really crazy about the fact that so many around me are reading my blog... but what can you do?

Louise said...

Yeah, that might be unnerving. (I know it would be for me, but Prince Charming DOES read my blog and edits for typos periodically), but I'm confident you're still going to have no trouble being yourself.

And I WILL humor you!

Love the pics, by the way!

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Wonderful post...wonderful, wonderful. You have described my greatest fears as I have already discussed on my blog, but not so wittily or entertainingly. I'd love to be your neighbor, that's all I can say!

Heather said...

Okay, I have goosebumps. It IS strange when you find out that neighbors and family read your blog. I try not to let it affect what or how I write, but it's still in the back of my mind when I post.

If you paint yourself blue to dance around a fire under the full moon, I will contribute sombreros with fabulous fringe because we will need those. Yep, we will.

belladella said...

I love this post. And I have a feeling you will continue to be yourself despite the prying eyes of the farmer and the neighbors.

Heidi said...

I got paint for ya baby!! lets dance!! we dont need the chicken bones do we? LOL So humor you it is!

StitchinByTheLake said...

I got an e-mail from my niece yesterday. She had been reading my blog. She said, "now I know that this sweet, quiet aunt I've always known is having funny monologues in her head in the midst of family chaos" or something like that. I'm caught! We aren't always who we seem to be, and then sometimes we are exactly who we seem to be. :) blessings, marlene

sugarcreekfarm said...

Your son's comment still cracks me up :) Especially since most of the "real farmers" around here probably don't consider us real farmers.

dana said...

Your story of Dickens left me with such joy. His spirit revealed via the computer was truly a gift---to himself and to his readers.

I would like to be your neighbor, too. Blue is my color--I've been told I look good in it! I can come up with a chicken bone or two as well.

Your blog is so great--always an unexpected surprise awaits us. Thanks.

lifeinredshoes said...

I walk a fine line with this blogging thing, I want people to know Red Shoes, but still keep a bit of anonimity. As more people that I know read my posts I have to ponder as to how that will affect my writing. I love your story about Dicken, I'm sure there are many more out there like him.

BittersweetPunkin said...

Great post Suzanne...

I have no doubt you are authentic!
Hugs,
Robin

woolanthropy said...

Heck I'll paint myself blue and join you.

KatKit13 said...

Tell the farmer to get his own blog. And the son too.

And I'm sending prayers for Dicken, who's true spirit was dancing painted blue.

huggles.

corine said...

I struggle with this all the time. The thin line between reality and fiction, between honesty and libel.

But then again this blog thing feeds us some important nourishment, and your friend's story is a wonderful proof of it.

Screaming Meme said...

I understand! Great post!

restyled home said...

Yikes! I have local people who come up to me and tell me they read my blog. It is definitely unnerving...not in a security type of way, but rather, just the fact that people know about me and probably think I'm a geek now!!

Luckily, my hubby has zero interest in reading blogs of any kind...

Sharon said...

I started blogging for a different reason - for my family and friends to "see" the me I am becoming. I want people to connect with the real me.

PamKittyMorning said...

It is funny when you find out people you actually know read the blog. Kind of weird, too!

Linnea said...

You seem very real in your blog, and I like that. My parents read my blog, as does my boyfriend and some of my friends. I don't mind this at all though... I want to share these things with the people I love, especially because we all live states, countries, and continents apart :o) Take care & enjoy your Thursday.
xox,
Linnea

Rue said...

Hi Suzanne :)

My family doesn't read my blog, but Rich's does and I drew the line at having to post everything they bought me. They started doing it just so they could see their name in print I think LOL

hugs,
rue

don said...

Hi Suzanne, miss you at the party. There is a discussion that brought up Dicken there and I am posting a link to this as it gives some insight for some newbees. Stop in if you get a chance.