Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Rumble in the Cornfield

Doesn't it seem sometimes that everything around here goes down in the cornfield? Our lives are tied to the million acres of corn that surrounds us.

Last winter my car had a altercation with a cornfield, and of course the cornfield won. The problem is that it happened on a road that I travel when I head for town and I'm reminded of the incident each time. It's like living the movie "Groundhog Day".

I has just turned on to a slice of road that is only a mile long, a slender connection from one highway to another. There's one lone farmhouse, and nothing else but empty cornfields as far as the eye could see. The moment I made the turn I realized I was in trouble. Under the thin dusting of snow there was a hidden patch of black ice. My car was sliding out of control as if an unseen hand was pushing it sideways towards the empty field.

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This is one of those strange moments when time stands still for a brief second and then moves forward in slow motion. Frame by frame I saw the potential disaster unfold. A bird flies just to the left of the car, I turn my head in the direction the car is moving and there's a telephone pole. I have no choice in the matter of whether I hit it head-on or not, the invisible hand is sliding me forward and slightly to the right. The car slides by the pole with nothing but an inch spare.

A camera would reveal that my eyes are now the size of dinner plates. I've narrowly averted totaling my car and possible injury. But the car is still moving and I have decisions to make, and in a split second my mind plays out the strangest scenario. I remember myself sitting in Mr. Isley's science class. He's lecturing on Newton's first law of motion, also known as the law of inertia.

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Millisecond by millisecond my car is traveling past the telephone phone and deep into the cornfield, and in the same time I'm watching (in my mind's eye) Mr. Isley reading from the textbook.

"An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."

My lab partner Dennis looked at me an mouthed the words, "We will never need this information.....never, EVER!"

Unfortunately, back in the cornfield I realized that friction and the weight of the car would quickly put an end to any forward motion. I was faced with a decision. If I did nothing my car would soon be mired in the damp soil just under the thin layer of snow. This option would involve a tow truck and a hundred dollars. The other option would be to keep the car in motion and attempt an escape from the cornfield grip.

W.W.M.E.D.???

What would Mr. Isley do?

You can guess by his horned rim glasses and snappy bow tie that he was a conservative kind of science teacher. But I'm guessing he was also frugal and not wanting to slap a hundred bucks into the palm of a tow truck driver. I my mind I heard Mr. Glenn Isley yelling, "Gun the sucker!!!"

And I did. Because hey, he's still an authority figure in my mind's eye.

I obediently gunned the motor and raced madly over the field fighting to gain control of the car. I was four-wheeling in the dead of winter. The field was covered with the dried stubs left after the fall harvest and they were slapping the undercarriage in a crazy rhythm......slappety-slap-slap-slappety-slap.

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The scene of the near-disaster.

The unseen hand which slipped me quietly past the danger now released it's grip and the wheels turned towards the roadway. I could see freedom just a short distance away, but there was the small matter of a roadside ditch to negotiate. At this point I envisioned Hollywood type airborn incident. Luckily the ditch was nothing more than a small impression at the edge of the road. I was back and the road and finally able to take a breath.

What's the moral of the story you ask. It's this - pay attention! Listen to every bit of information. Watch every stinking survival show that's scheduled on satellite. Because you never know.

You never know when you'll be required to make a pair of snowshoes from the materials in your car. You never know when you'll need to make fire or hunt an elk with nothing but your bare hands and a pair of cuticle scissors.

You just never know.

POSTSCRIPT - I was feeling all "Dukes of Hazzard" following my exciting run through the cornfield. I pulled over and after a quick examination the car appeared totally unscathed. Unfortunately my confidence was short-lived. A week later I was driving on the interstate to visit my daughter when I heard a strange sound. CRACK....It seems the front bumper had been cracked in my run and the force of the air (probably another one of Newton's law were involved) ripped the entire piece off and threw it under my tires. Luckily there was no one behind me. It didn't matter because when I looked in the rearview mirror there was nothing left of the bumper but a strange cloud of tiny black plastic debris.

Maya Angelou and the Chicken Breast

Remember when I challenged you to steal one of the titles from my story board? Some of you were up the challenge. We'll cover the "Green Twinkie" story another day. Today we're going to examine "Maya Angelou and the Chicken Breast".

My friend over at Liberty Post was brave enough to take the title and write something terrific. You can find it HERE. Take a moment and read, but only if you promise to come back.

It was quite intuitive of her to guess that Oprah was somehow involved in the story. It's amazing that I ever remember what I meant by my sketchy story titles. They are merely fleeting thoughts that I think might develop into something interesting but the truth is that often times I can barely remember what I had in mind.

I do remember this one. It's a perfect follow up to yesterday's post because the story involves cooking and nurturing.

Oprah was doing her "dinner with the author" events at the time. She would invite some of her viewers to enjoy dinner with an author featured on her book club list. This particular dinner was to be hosted by Maya Angelou and in my heart of heart I was longing to be one of those chosen few to sit at her table. I could close my eyes and hear her deep voice resonating through the room, commanding everyone's rapt attention.

For a week I imagined the fabulous caterer that Ms. Angelou would engage for the event. Surely she would have a hand in the menu choice and perhaps the flowers. I poured myself a cup of coffee and got comfortable in front of the television at the appointed hour and within 10 minutes I felt incredibly stupid. Caterer? Really? Did I really believe Maya Angelou would cater the event?

Somehow I assumed that world famous published authors would not bother themselves with such mundane tasks as cooking dinner. I was quickly schooled in lessons of sharing. Oprah joined Maya in the kitchen and watched while she lovingly prepared the meal and talked about the spiritual nature of preparing food for your guests. From planning the meal through it's preparation it's a gift that you give to your guests. It's caring enough to put together a beautiful and delicious meal.

Although I couldn't be physically present at her table, I learned a lesson so important that even the book they were discussing paled in comparison. She created a moment and they lived the moment. What more could you ask for?

It seems impossible for me to post without including a photo, so here's another portrait for you.

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This photo was taken in Haiti by my friend Tony. I think this is such an amazing photograph on so many levels. This woman was preparing a meal for visitors on a mission trip. Her face and hands show hard times, but her honest gaze is unguarded. Look at her hand. She looked up at Tony but her hand never once stopped moving as she went about her task of preparing the meal.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Vermeer on the Prairie

Today I'd like to share a portrait with you.

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I call this one, "Vermeer on the Prairie" because of the beautiful light coming in through the window.

This woman is someone I admire and respect. She's worked hard during her lifetime and she's one of those people who will assure you that the good old days weren't all that good. Think about how your day would play out if you had no central heat in your house the mop water would freeze before you could finish your job.

This woman represents the nurturing spirit. It doesn't really matter who she is, her identity is not important but the qualities she embodies are all important. Her power doesn't come from who she manages. It comes from what she manages.

You're looking at true grit, my Vermeer on the Prairie.

NOTE: If you're interested in reading about women with true grit I suggest:

Giants in the Earth by Ole Edvart Rolvagg. This book was written in Norwegian and translated to English. It chronicles the experience of early Norwegian immigrants living on the prairie. It is part of a trilogy.

This Cruel War - the Civil War Letters of Grant and Malinda Taylor - This is an amazing and almost complete set of letters written between husband and wife during the civil war. Grant spent five years away from his family and Malinda changed in ways that her husband was not completely comfortable with. This is one of the most interesting books I've ever read. It's an accurate first-person account of living life in the late 1800's.

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Siren's Song of Key Limes

The next time you're in the grocery store, be careful when you walk through the product department because danger lurks there. I'm not talking about samonella, I'm talking about key limes!

Sure, they're as cute as they can be, the baby bunnies of the citrus world. Don't be fooled, they're sirens in the Greek tradition, calling to you from among the oranges. They're only $1.69 for an entire bag but the minute you get them home the torture begins.

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How could these little limes torture you? For starters you'll need to squeeze at least 30 of them to get enough juice to make anything. The process of juicing these limes will cost you an hour of your life and send you to an orthopedic physician to deal with your hands.

My single encounter with key limes left me traumatized and just the sight of them causes me to break out in a cold sweat. Don't mess with them I tell you.

When I told my friend Becky what I'd been through she looked at me in disbelief.

"You did WHAT?" she asked.

"I juiced 30 key limes," I whimpered.

"Why would you do that? Haven't you ever heard of Nellie and Joe?"

"No, who are they?"

"They juice the limes so you don't have to." she said.

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I felt pretty dumb and promised myself to examine the grocery shelves in greater detail in the future. I came to love Nellie and Joe. They do an awesome job. I bet they've got the best orthopedic surgeon that money can buy.

If you're looking for something to do with their key lime juice, try these two recipes.

KEY LIME PIE MARTINI

Graham cracker crumbs
2 shots vodka
1/2 shot key lime juice
2 TBSP. heavy whipping cream
1 shot pineapple juice
Wedge of lime

Run the wedge of lime around the edge of a martini glass. Dip the glass into a plate of graham cracker crumbs to coat the edge. Add all remaining ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into martini glass. Raise the glass and toast Nellie & Joe.

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KEY LIME BARS

2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 cup margarine
4 eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups sugar
1/3 cup bottled key lime juice
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder

Sift together the flour and powdered sugar. Cut in the butter until the mixture clings together. Press this mixture into a 9 x 13-inch baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes. Meanwhile, beat the eggs, sugar, and lime juice together. Sift 1/4 cup flour and baking powder together; stir into the egg mixture. Pour over the baked crust and return to the oven for an additional 20 to 25 minutes. Cool, sprinkle with powdered sugar and cut into bars.

NOTE: I found Nellie & Joe's in the section of the grocery store where they keep the regular lime juice.

Have a great Monday everyone.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Spread Your Wings

Since I'm experience difficulties with the computer that I use to scan, upload and edit my photos, there will be no Way Back Machine today. No photos either.

I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to encourage you to step outside your comfort zone of blog reading. We seem to get caught up in a similar stream of subject matter, whether it be style blogs, or family blogs or craft blogs. I love to take that web surfboard and jump the waves to the left or right of where I usually run. In the course of those little surfing trips I've found some fascinating reads.

I'd like to suggest reading White Crow Walking. I've been reading Jesse White Crow's adventures for three years. He has walked across America alone. The blurb at the top of his blog states:

"My solo walk across America began in Maine. I walked for nearly 3 years carrying a backpack and facing countless dangers, as well as met wonderful people I could have never made it without. From bullets to bears I moved through mountains of snow and across burning desert country. The end result will be a book, and the fruition of a childhood dream. This is a blog from the field with rough stories about my steps along the way."

...rough stories about his steps along the way. Rough stories??? I swear if these are just rough ramblings then the book is destined to be a best seller. Many times when reading his entries I would be stopped in my tracks by a sentence. How can someone craft a sentence so perfect and lean, without a wasted syllable or thought? And he wasn't sitting in a nice comfy office. He was jotting entries along the road, using the computers at public libraries. His thought process is deeply influenced by American Indian themes of nature and man.

One day I read one of his sentences and felt compelled to write it down and tuck it into my bedside table. I often read it at night before I go to bed and dream about crafting words such as this.

"In a minute the coyote is over by the dry creek bed singing it's painful woes to a night that makes all of creation wish they'd mastered fire."

- Jesse White Crow

NOTE: For further reading in this genre try -

William Least Heat-Moon - "River Horse" or "Blue Highways". Blue highway refers to the color with which the mapmakers denote secondary highways on a map. It's those highways the Heat-Moon traveled in preparation for writing the book. "River Horse" is a horse of a different color. It's a riveting story of his journey from coast-to-coast over America's streams and rivers.

Bill Bryson - "The Lost Continent" is a irreverent look at the author's travels across America after being overseas for twenty years. Written in 1994, much of it would be considered politically incorrect in this day. No matter, it's sharp and funny.

What's your favorite off-the-beaten path blog?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

What I did on my summer vacation.

Wasn't that always the first essay we were asked to write when we returned to school in the fall?

Our childhood vacations looked pretty much the same each year. We'd drive to Tennessee and visit family, eat plenty of good fresh food and swim in the creek. Then we'd drive on to the Florida panhandle and visit family, eat plenty of good fresh food and swim in the ice cold waters of DeFuniak Springs. I don't remember being able to fluff it up into an exciting essay, and I don't remember ever earning an "A" for my efforts but in hindsight the memories are memorable.

Last year the Farmer and I headed out for a mini-vacation in Hannibal, Missouri, boyhood home to Mark Twain. I know, it's not Vegas, but it was fun and interesting. You certainly couldn't keep yourself busy for more than a couple days but a long weekend was just perfect.

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The Mississippi River has always held a great fascination for me and I can attribute it to Miss Scott, my 5th grade teacher who pushed Mark Twain on us. I was a willing reader of his work and as an adult came to appreciate his sharp wit and tongue.

It was great to see where he lived his young adventures and meet the interesting entrepreneurs who make Hannibal home today. These included a weaver who had just returned to the midwest after many years in the southwest......

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....and an actor who was tired of living on the road.

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I would love to hear about the interesting little spots in your area. You know, those places that will never be included in the top ten travel lists but still worthy of a road trip. Is your little corner of the world home to a giant peach, or a fantastic beach? Let me know. You never know, maybe next year I can make a road trip dream come true and visit some of these "D List" places.

P.S. I've started the list with Ellsworth, Wisconsin, the Cheese Curd Capital of Wisconsin.....or is it the world?

Friday, July 25, 2008

Excusive Behavior

Today I'd like to discuss a term I have coined, called "excusive behavior". No, that's not a typo, it reads "excusive" not "exclusive".

What's excusive behavior you ask? Well, here's my definition:

"Excusive behavior is that behavior which, in normal circumstances would be considered odd or out-of-the norm, but is excused or dismissed based solely on the personality of the person engaging in such behavior."

Before I lose you and you hit the back button let me give you an example.

My friend was driving along a local country road when she saw something out of the ordinary. There was a small black car parked in a farmer's "pull in" at the edge of a cornfield. A "pull-in" is a short gravel covered spot where the farmer parks his truck while accessing his field. He also uses it as an entrance to pull his tractor onto the field. It's not normally a parking spot for a sporty black car.

In the next moment she saw a woman crawling around on the ground at the edge of the field, commando fashion. Her first thought was, "How odd is that?? What is that crazy woman doing?" In the next moment she saw a camera and put two-and -two together and realized that it was ME crawing around the field taking photos.

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Her response? "Oh, it's just Suzanne. No big deal."

Do you see? What is it that would cause a person to excuse my behavior based solely on my personality? If this was a isolated case it would be different but this happens all the time.

My son was dating a girl for a couple months before he brought her around to our house. I can certainly understand. Sometimes you want a relationship to get on firm ground before you subject the person to the full monty of what goes around here. Remember, we're multi-generational, multi-cultural and simply multi-dysfunctional.

I wasn't home to greet them when they arrived and the Farmer's Son brought her into our home office to look something up on the computer. It took a minute for him to notice that she was staring wide-eyed at my inspiration/blog organization wall. Many of us employ that method, such as my friend over at Liberty Post. Take a look at her organizational wall. (Scroll down to the third picture) Cool huh?

Now look at my wall. This is what the new girlfriend was staring at:

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My son could tell instantly that she was thinking of the movie, "A Beautiful Mind", where Russell Crowe's mentally ill character has plastered papers all over the walls of his room.

"Oh no," he said, "it's OK, it's just my mom."

Yeah right, it's just your mom's somewhat bizarre way of jotting down story ideas so that when they fly out of her brain two minutes later she can remind herself later. The problem is that half the time even I can't figure out what they mean. Here's a few examples. Some are very strange. You should feel free to steal them for yourself.

- 87-yr, old Greek chicken (For real! I think I might have already written about this, but I can't remember.)

- Inspiration grows like mold (Seriously, what??)

- Doghouse flowers.

- The Green Twinkie

Oh, here's a really good one.......

- Simone de Beauvoir can kiss my _______


While I'm name dropping how about......

- Maya Angelou and the Chicken Breast

or

- Margaret Mead and Me (or is it Margaret Mead and I.....Margaret Mead and myself? Sheesh, where's a Grammar Nazi when you need one?)

I challenge you to take any one of the story ideas and write a blog post around it. I dare you.

Don't worry because it won't deter me from writing a story around it also. That is, only IF I can remember what the story was supposed to be about!

Let me know if you do. I'll do a round-up and link to the posts so that we can ALL have a good laugh. It's on me.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

New Peeps!!

Do you remember the day I saw elephants and touring bands? The most amazing things can happen when you venture out from homebase and drive the 9 miles towards something!

A tour bus was parked at a local gas station and I took a photo because I'd never heard of Tin Horse and it occurred to me that maybe I should have.

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I went home and looked them up on Dogpile. Sure enough, there they were - a Chicago country group made up of three women. I listened and I liked what I heard. At first, due to my deep southern roots, I was skeptical of the concept of a country group from Chicago, of all places.

You have to understand that my family has been living about 50 miles from Nashville since the late 1700's and my great-great-great-grandfather has a roadside marker. I'm no slouch when it comes to bar hopping in Nashville. The Farmer and I spent many a night in Tootie's Orchid Lounge. What happens in Tootsie's, stays in Tootsie's. It was the spot where country music stars would hang out after the Opry show. They'd sit around and jam together.

After listening to a bit of Tin Horse, I filled out a questionnaire, put myself on their mailing list and became a "Pony", which is basically one of their peeps.

I was surprised to discover that my tour bus sighting was covered on their website. After heated negotiations.....OK, it was just one e-mail, the ladies of Tin Horse have agreed to be the official band of this blog! I'm a real music lover and the chance to have my own official blog band was more than I could resist!

There's a cute video of them visiting Dolly at the Speedway gas station in Indiana on one of their road trips. Be sure to turn the music off first.

Unfortunately they're music isn't on Playlist yet, but hopefully soon. Today you're listening to Keith Urban, just to get you in the country mood.

Be sure to pop over to the Tin Horse Website and check them out. They'll be playing nearby in the middle of August and we're all going to the show. Maybe they'll give me an interview. I'll need to start working on some questions now.

Thanks for visting today. I hope you like Tin Horse!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Wounded Tractors

Last week in an attempt to keep up with the 2 acres of mowing I set out on a mission to keep ahead of the grass. Anytime it rains there's a growing spurt and you want to try and mow often, otherwise if you let it get too long you end up with what looks like two acres of hay. Then you'll be dragging the grass catcher behind the tractor and hunting for somewhere to dump it all and that is not fun. Speaking of the onslaught of rain lately, someone (who will remain nameless) took the long pipe off the sump pump discharge pipe. The result was that the force of the water flooded the basement window well and YES, cause some water to leak into the basement. All together now......ARRRGGGHHHH. Had to clean that mess up and then I fired up my trusty steed - - - - - the Cub Cadet.

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What I didn't realize was that the force of the water also eroded a large hole in the side of the yard. I proceeded to drive the tractor directly into the hole. The left front wheel went in with a thud and it was apparent I wasn't getting out until a certain weight-lifting son got home. He lifted the tractor out and we discovered that the wheel was bent. That meant I needed to put in a call to one of my peeps. If you look at my peep list on the sidebar, you'll see that R. F. Houtz is my tractor guy. "R" stands for Rob, I don't know what the "F" stands for. Here he is in his office.

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Out in the country we call this the "sit a spell" style of doing business.

They remodeled the showroom, pulling down the paneling and painting the walls in Cub Cadet blue and white. It's OK, I guess. He's brought back in some of his stuff, I see there's deer head on the wall but I miss the lamps and the mood lighting!

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R.F. sent his crew out to pick up the tractor. It was back in no time and I'm back in the saddle. His fast service was indispensable in keeping me out of the business of making hay (dry grass).

Have you developed relationship with local business people that allow you to add them to your list of "Trusty Peeps"? Do you have peeps who help you grease the wheels of living day-to-day? Maybe you have a housekeeper....I could only wish I had someone like that.

So, let me know and make me green with envy over your wonderful peeps!

NOTE: I've got a terrific addition to my Peeps list that I will announce tomorrow. This entailed negotiations and everything!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Bias Tape Tutorial

Last week I promised to show you how to make your own bias tape and Vee's apron project is hinged on this information. There's just nothing like making your ownb because you can create bias tape from different fabrics and that gives you great creative potential.

Perhaps I should just go into the bias-tape-making business! No, maybe not.

I'm going to show you the method I learned in a quilting class. A yard of fabric makes LOTS of bias tape. The piece of fabric that I chose for the Make-Do Apron was only 26 inches long and I got 8 1/2 yards of bias tape from that. So, let's get started.

You're going to need:
- fabric
- a ruler
- a disappearing marking pen
- pins
- an iron

I'm going to take a moment here to say that if you want to learn how to sew, you're going to need to make friends with your iron. There's no way to get good results unless you press, press, press and press some more.

Lay out your fabric on a flat surface. Grab the selvage edge and fold it over to line up with the opposite edge, like this:

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Finger press the diagonal. To finger press just put pressure on the fabric, open the fabric and you'll have a diagonal line. Mark this with the pen and a ruler. Now you need to decide how wide you want the tape to be. You're going to be folding it in twice, so figure the final width X 4. I just make the 2-1/2 inches wide and after it's all folded it's a nice final size.

Using your ruler, make marks every 2-1/2 inches and "connect-the-dots". Do this all across the fabric.

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It's going to start looking like this:

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Now you're going to match the edge together, but instead of lining up exactly, you're going to move the fabric to the next line, so it's jogged one over. Pin the edges, matching the blue lines.

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Sew a 1/4 inch seam.

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Here's my sewing machine "Beverly". She's been complaining that she's not getting enough face time here "At Home.....".

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Press the seam open and flat.

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Now start cutting on the line. What's going to happen is that you're going to be cutting one continuous strip around and around the tube. You're going to end up with long strips of bias cut fabric.

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Fold the tape in half and press.

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Open it up and fold one edge to the center line. Press the outside edge being careful not to press the center line flat.

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Fold the opposite side in, but this time don't go to the center line. Make this a smaller fold.

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When it's folded it will look like this.

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That's what you're looking for, one wider side and one narrower side.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Now.....go make some bias tape in fantastic patterns!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Field Trip - Back to the Fair

We need to go back to the fair. The Jersey Girls are feeling left out, what with all this focus on jumping goats and dozing pigs. There's a big dairy cow barn at the fair and it's one of my favorites. When I was a kid we had friends who owned a dairy farm in Wisconsin. Bev and Wolfgang always made us feel welcome and we were invited to help with the chores.

Their life was so different from ours in the city and we loved the cows. We named them, each and every one. I still love the smell of a dairy barn.

Here are the Jersey Girls.

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Ooops, that their backside. Here's a look at their sweet doe-eyed faces. I love this breed.

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There was a sign up in the barn that read, "Not all cows are black and white," and that is so true. Here's another look at the Jersey line up. These girls were all named and from a dairy called, "Three a Day". Very clever.

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This young woman was working hard at keeping the barn clean. Big dairy cows produce alot of compost.

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Here's a Holstein, which is what most of us picture when we think of dairy cows. This cow was SO HUGE... I can't even begin to tell you how large she was. It's a good thing they are basically docile animals, but still, if you find yourself between one of these cows and a fence, it can be fatal.

The next barn houses the beef cattle. They name fits because they are big and beefy and a little more difficult to handle. I can't imagine trying to wrangle a 1,600 lb. steer. Before they enter the show ring they must have a spa treatment. First they're vacuumed.

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I don't know if they're given a bath, but they are vacuumed. Following that they are groomed.

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A beauty salon's got nothing on them because they are combed and sprayed and combed and sprayed some more. The spray is something that makes their coat look smooth and shiny. Remember, there are big bucks on the line. Some kids do a good job of bankrolling part of their college fund in this way.

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That's enough of looking at the livestock, I'm hungry. Didn't someone here say they wanted a turkey leg?

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There's funnel cakes.

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Cheese curds .......

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There's those caramel apples again.

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I had a big dilemma - funnel cake or cheese curds. Hmmmmm. The funnel cake won out.

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I washed it down with a lemon shake-up.

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Refreshed and ready for more I headed off to the hoticulture and home economics display. It was somewhat disappointing. I remember it being much bigger than this.

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Here's some nice corn.

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Jars of grain. Soybeans are in the middle.

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There were some artistic vegetable displays.

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By this time, sensible shoes or not, my feet were hurting. I did show up for the bull riding event but it was simply an exercise in being human. I found myself with two cameras, whose batteries died within five minutes of my arrival. Wow, did I feel stupid. But here's the thing. Our imaginations can create wonderful images so I'll just say that the cowboys are on their way back home.

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They were all terrific looking human specimens, strong and healthy, with six-pack abs and hands callosed from their work. They had perfect white teeth and warm smiles. They had true grit and were made of the right stuff.

The color has faded from the midway for another year. It's sad to see the fair end.

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I've promised myself to enter next year. At least an apron or two.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

FIeld Trip - Another Day at the County Fair

Welcome back to our tour of the Kane County Fair. The fairgrounds is located on Randall Road, which is now a major road through the county. But I remember back when it was a two-lane gravel country road. I believe there was talk at one time about relocating the fairgrounds further west to a location that would once again be more rural. But in the last year they've built a new multi-million dollar exhibit building so I guess the relocation plans are not in the works any longer.

Here are two baa-baa black sheep cuddling together for companionship. It's certainly not to keep warm because it was very hot and humid the day I visited.

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All the livestock barns have a slightly different "parfum". If you've ever spent any time on a farm you could be blindfolded and easily identify when barn you are standing in. The goats have a mild odor, but after all they are smaller animals. When we move up to the sheep the smell factor increases a bit.

Look at these sheep. When they're wearing their protective gear they remind me of a knight's horse, all decked out for the jousting match. I like sheep. I'd like a bunch of them to come live with me and keep my lawn in check.

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The chickens were struggling to keep cool and were acting quite nervous. One started making some racket and the entire chicken barn was soon up for grabs. They were raising cain, as it were. Those were some noisy birds. The chicken barn has that odd, distinctive smell. I'm sure there's a scientist among you that can explain the chemical components.

This bird (a leghorn, I believe) had a comb that made it almost impossible to see the world around him. It's beautiful though.

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Here's a dandy. I've come to the conclusion that any chicken with fluff on top of it's head is a nervous wreck. These chickens (cockerels) never stopped moving for one second. I think they wanted to show off their headdresses, which were constantly in motion. The photo is fuzzy because he wouldn't stand still long enough to have his picture taken.

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Look at this drop dead gorgeous turkey. He was the Grand Champion and believe me, he KNEW it. He was strutting it up big time.

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The teenagers were just hanging out and, like the livestock, trying to keep cool. They always bring old couches from home to decorate their space. The preteen group were real pranksters. They rigged some rubber spiders from the ceiling on a system of pulleys. What they would do is drop the spider as an unsuspecting person walked through the barn. Quite a clever prank!

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OK, everybody put their blindfolds on. We're going to the next barn and I"m going to test your skills in identifying the animal from the "parfum". Be careful, the gravel is uneven. Keep walking. Take a deep whiff. OK, take off your blindfolds and see if you guessed right.

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There they are, as cute as they can be and equally stinky. I'll apologize to any hog farmers that may be reading but I don't understand how you can ever get accustomed to the smell. Whoa....that's all I can say.

These children were fascinated by the pigs. The young farmer asked the kids if they wanted to feed the pigs, but understandably they were a little shy. Mom stepped in and showed them how. The fair is such a great chance for children to see livestock up close and personal.

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Look at these pigs. They were snuggled very close to share the air from the fan. They're so funny.

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Didn't I promise some Jersey girls today. Hey, the Jersey Boys got nothing on them. But I didn't realize how many pictures I had to share, so the Jersey Girls will be here tomorrow. Don't miss it, their eyes will simply melt your heart.

NOTE: I haven't forgotten about the bias tape tutorial. That will be publishing on Tuesday.